Uncivil unions

Every now and then, I will be genuinely surprised at the level of reaction an article or editorial in The Badger Herald will attract. Generally, I have a good sense what pieces will raise firestorms and what pieces will fade into a world of mundaneness. But when it came to the editorial board's commentary on the inherently absurd notion of an academic union for professors, my serene expectations were quickly shattered.

In the January 31 edition of the paper, the editorial board wrote:

[A] proposal put forth by a state Republican — yes, Republican — ... would allow UW professors to take the first step toward [a] happy marriage between a young lady named Alice, a place called Wonderland and enough opium to transform a GOP leader into Jimmy Hoffa’s most unlikely disciple.

Specifically, Wisconsin Senate Majority Leader Dale Schultz is backing legislation that would allow UW System professors to form unions. The rationale behind such a bill is “Looking Glass”-esque and clearly refuted by common sense.

And while the language was certainly colorful, I truly expected the topic to be a non-starter. The notion of allowing professors to unionize is, after all, among the more absurd of ideas to be floated in the Wisconsin legislature (and that is saying something considering that they let Jim Doyle stop by every now and then). But the reaction has been notable. Today the Herald ran a letter to the editor from the Vice President of AFT Local 223, one of many received from union members and leaders across the country.

Truthfully, I thought this country had moved beyond its infatuation with unions. We live in an era when airlines are going bankrupt because they – like most corporations – can't possibly afford the overly-generous deals they inked with unions whilst a gun (the threat of a strike) was held to their heads. In New York City, we saw a strike-happy group of thugs wreak havoc on the local economy, threatening Christmas in a Grinch-like fashion. And even here in Madison, we have been treated to the site of a bunch of whiny academics picketing lecture halls because they perceived a personal entitlement to free health care so strong that it was worth ripping undergraduates off.

Blue collar unions, still, may be a necessary evil in a society where workplace conditions are often at issue. This may not be the most civil way of addressing such grievances, but many of the gripes expressed by these unions are decent ones.

The notion of an academic union, conversely, amounts to pure rubbish. Such is not a means of pulling voice-less workers out of their second-class abyss; it is merely a mechanism to strip workers of their individual voices and strategically point a loaded weapon at the head of the state. It has long been illegal for public employees in Wisconsin – and elsewhere – to go on strike, but as the TAA has shown us, such a fundamental respect for the law has never been a genuine obstacle toward dishonest union-led blackmail.

The American dream is one where employees are not clustered together into a union, forced to pay dues whether they can afford to or not, and systematically oppressed by a hierarchy that would make Karl Marx proud. No, this is a nation where all those who can speak for themselves are encouraged to do just that. People are rewarded based on the merits of their work and capabilities they display, not the length of a strike or severity of an illegal threat.

Moreover, this is a nation in which businesses enjoy the fruits of capitalism and pass them on to clients and employees alike. It is no coincidence that Wal-Mart, one of the most successful companies in America, is not only also the country's most popular shopping hub but union-free as well.

For the record, I am a frequent Wal-Mart shopper, have never belonged to a union and have been photographed crossing a picket line. In a hegemonic state where minimum wage laws, workplace safety statutes and child labor ordinances all give the worker a head-start not found in most other countries, I am increasingly troubled to define the benefit of a frightfully vast network of unions, let alone the expansion of that network.

Beside, the University of Wisconsin System is already having enough trouble providing “everyday low prices.”