Academy Awards simulblog

Starting momentarily, I will run an Academy Awards simulblog on this site. Having covered the entertainment industry on and off for seven years now, I have viewed many an Oscar ceremony and will be offering a commentary piece in Tuesday's Badger Herald.

Unlike previous Right Side of the Road simulblogs, this one will flow down – which is to say that updates will be informally time-stamped and added to the bottom of this post.

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7:07 – Very cute opening with Billy Crystal, Chris Rock, Steve Martin, Whoopi Goldberg, David Letterman, Mel Gibson and company. Wholly reminiscent of the last time Mr. Letterman got to parody his famously mediocre hosting job in a rather cute Oprah-driven montage.

Jon Steward looks good – classic black tuxedo with a long tie. He appears awkward, but I think such is just the normal level of self-consciousness that drives his unique brand of humor. And kudos to him for the quick self-depreciation (“me, the fourth male lead from 'Death to Smoochy'').

Great political line too – early jabs at Hollywood's obsession with the Democratic Party are going over well. Again, a little self-depreciation is always good for these things.

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7:11 - “Bjork couldn't be here tonight. She was trying on her Oscar dress and Dick Cheney shot her” - the jokes are working pretty well; that one got a great reaction on the heels of an also-successful Jewish joke. Still, I'm astounded that people remember Bjork's famous swan-style dress – that was a while back and she is not exactly a-list.

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7:16 – Not sure why Nicole Kidman is presenting Best Supporting Actor. Tradition is the previous year's Best Supporting Actress, which would be Cate Blanchett, who won for The Aviator in 2005.

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7:21 – George Clooney is now an Academy Award winner. Sad to see it happen for such a blatantly political piece (he takes it home for “Syriana”), but glad to see him win it. Great actor and director.

Credit to Mr. Clooney for humility, too – “I don't know how you compare art” – I always enjoy those who take the time to at least acknowledge the other nominees.

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7:26 – I get the “green screen” joke with Ben Stiller's presentation – he is draped in a hideous green get-up. But, seriously, he looks like a fool. The immaturity of this bit of astounding – a little class at the Oscars wouldn't hurt. I mean, we're laughing at him – not with him.

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7:34 – The giant, colorful bowties on the Wallace & Gromit guys are adorable. And they showed such charisma and warmth in what really was just a typical acceptance speech. Very lovable!

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7:37 – Okay, Dolly Parton always looks like a Barbi doll, but this getup is particularly bad. Neck up is normal, but then the accentuation of cleavage paired with the absolute lack of a waist is really quite disturbing. And that outfit is hideous – it looks as though she has ruffles draped off her waist. Way too much glitz on the jewelry too – this year is supposed to be about a sensible return to the mid-20th century modesty; she is anything but.

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7:47 – I haven't seen any of the short films (which are the focus of the show at the moment), and am guessing most of you haven't. But they do look quite interesting and it is worth noting the live action ones are available for download from iTunes – might be a worthwhile investment.

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7:54 – The ode to biopics is pretty well assembled (though the selection of some of the flicks appears to be rather capricious). I'm just not sure what it was meant to do other than evoke some warm nostalgia. The movies included spanned several decades of filmmaking (and centuries of historical figures). Also, having Russell Crowe introduce the piece and then be featured for his role as John Nash seemed a touch ego-heavy.

People always complain that the show is too long. Now I realize the montages are some of the most enjoyable portions, but it is bits like this that make me wonder if some time couldn't be shaved off of the ceremony.

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8:04 – Howard Berger and Tami Lane just won the makeup honors for their work on “The Chronicles of Narnia.” Mr. Berger gave a lengthy speech, naming seemingly everyone he had ever met. Ms. Lane looked anxious the whole time. Then she stepped up to the microphone for what looked to be a quick afterthought comment and was completely silenced by the show's producer – not merely drowned out by the orchestra, silenced. The mic may have been turned off for all I know.

Having just ranted on show length, I am all for a shorter program. But don't cut people out of the show once they are on the stage. It just makes the broadcast look really bad.

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8:07 – Rachel Weisz wins Best Actress for “The Constant Gardner.” I'm not familiar with the performance, but as she beats out Michelle Williams on the heels of George Clooney taking the supporting actor award over Jake Gyllenhaal, it is worth noting that “Brokeback Mountain” is now zero for two in major categories. Might an upset be brewing?

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8:21 – The Best Actress lobbying commercials parody is quite amusing. For those familiar with “Variety” or any of the other trade papers, you know how obnoxious the genuine ads can get. To put them on par with the old Swift Boat Veterans for Truth spots makes for a welcome inside joke, and the whole bit was ludicrous enough to work across the board.

Also, this is very much Jon Stewart's humor style. You can tell that this broadcast has some very “Daily Show”-esque elements to it, and such comes as a welcome surprise. I'm glad to see he isn't being constrained. (Don't get me wrong, though – the juvenile bits can stay out, ala Ben Stiller, there is still a fine balance between humor and class to be struck here.)

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8:42 – Alright, the montages may be heavy-handed and unnecessary. But the one on socially-powerful films sure is extraordinary. “Philadelphia,” “Inherit the Wind,” “Mr. Smith Goes to Washington” and “Network” were the highlights, but each scene was astounding unto itself.

Still, I have to wonder, what does this have to do with the year that was in cinema? I am all for nostalgia and love these things, but we are almost two hours into this now and only two major awards have been unveiled. Montages are lovable because they show great moments of brevity as part of a collage – I just wonder, is the Academy capable of any such brilliant brevity on its own?

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8:53 – “Brokeback Mountain” finally gets one. Gustavo Santaolalla wins for Best Original Score. It's worth noting, that as the show's second hour draws to a close, “Memoirs of a Geisha” has actually won more awards than “Brokeback Mountain.” Stunning.

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9:00 – “Wow, I can't wait 'till later when we see Oscar's salute to montages.”

Thank you Jon Stewart!

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9:14 – I love Lily Tomlin and Meryl Streep, but this mock-confusion bit in honor of Robert Altman isn't nearly as amusing as the two of them seem to think. When they introduced themselves as each other, it was cute. But the rest of the bit is bordering on painful to watch.

Now the Altman montage is on, with him narrating it. For the first time all night, a montage is actually a welcome relief!

And, I might add, major kudos to Mr. Altman. He is quite deserving of the honorary award – truly one of the finest directors of the modern era. Consider the diversity of his work – everything from “MASH” to “Gosford Park.”

He is getting a very decent standing ovation now and it is actually quite warming – doesn't seem so phony for some reason.

“I always that this type of award meant that it is over,” he jokes. Then seamlessly segues to the show he opened in London just last night, making mention of another film he has coming out. And he sums it well: “To me, I've just made one long film.” Truly an astounding guy!

And a few nice punch lines, too – instead of thanking actors, producers and studios, he thanks his doctor! Great cut-away shot of Reese Witherspoon chuckling and nodding in the audience. Amazing juxtaposition of an older, classic director and one of Hollywood's finer new actors.

He ends by thanking his family, with a special mention of his wife. Very touching.

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9:20 – “It's Hard Out Here for a Pimp,” one of the evening's nominated songs, is being performed. There is a set that looks like it is right out of a “Saturday Night Live” sketch and the performers are in street gear. It is one of the most class-less things I have ever seen in an Oscar ceremony.

The Academy should be embarrassed.

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9:25 – And now “It's Hard Out Here for a Pimp” won! Dolly Parton, who, by default, is one of the losers, looks wildly amused.

I am almost embarrassed to be watching. This is sickening.

Their acceptance speech is in a terrible brand of English. I can't tell if they got bleeped or not.

Jon Stewart is laughing. “I think it just got a little easier out here for a pimp,” he jokes.

I, on the other hand, don't know if I should laugh or cry.

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9:36 – The one montage I'll never complain about is the annual commemorative reel of those who have passed away. This year's was particularly poignant – some truly stunning individuals have left us.

I realize it is assembled well in advance, with a tight musical coordination, but I was still disappointed to see that Don Knotts didn't make it in to the reflective piece. He truly was one of the finest character actors of his era, and though “The Andy Griffith Show” isn't cinematic, Mr. Knotts did work his way into several films, including a particularly delightful role in “Pleasantville.”

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9:40 – Glad to see that “Paradise Now,” the Palestinian propaganda piece about suicide bombers, didn't win Best Foreign Language Film. As Will Smith was introducing the category, the posters for the five nominated films appeared on screen such that two would be next to each other at any given point in time. Coincidentally, the one to the left of “Paradise Now” had a giant swastika on it.

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9:49 – Philip Seymour Hoffman wins Best Actor for “Capote.” He deserved it eight years ago for “Happiness,” an independent flick in which he was absolutely amazing, but the subject matter was far too edgy for the Academy (heavy pedophilia) to even nominate. The career has he amassed since is stunning as well, with “Magnolia,” “State and Main” and now “Capote” all being standouts.

He gives a very classy speech, albeit a touch scatterbrained. I always admire the winners who take time to acknowledge the other nominees – such an easy, decent thing to do. And Mr. Hoffman is right on cue.

Also worth noting, once again, “Brokeback Mountain” has lost in a major category as Heath Ledger can only politely clap for Mr. Hoffman.

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10:01 – Reese Witherspoon wins Best Actress for “Walk the Line.”

“I want to say that Johnny Cash and June Carter had a wonderful tradition of honoring other artists.” -- Very classy.

Ms. Witherspoon probably deserved the award back in 1999 for “Election;” despite her youth, she is assembling quite the career and this does seem deserved.

Also, for an actress who looks incredibly young (she played a high school student in “Election”), she is showing a great deal of maturity with a heavy and sentimental speech. “I'm just trying to matter,” she says in honor of June Carter.

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10:09 – I love Dustin Hoffman. He is my favorite actor of all time – period.

He is presenting one of the screenplay awards with his usual nonchalant level of class and dignity. He cuts off script, looks down and comments, “I'm looking at everybody who didn't win – great work people. Great work.”

Again, so dignified! Such a great Hollywood player.

Mr. Hoffman was introduced as a being a two-time Oscar winner, which is true, he grabbed kudos for “Kramer vs. Kramer” and “Rain Man.” But he has also been nominated for Best Actor five other times, including nods for “The Graduate” and “Wag the Dog.”

Think about that – he was nominated for Best Actor in 1968 and 1998. How many actors can perform that superbly over a 30 year time span?

Truly amazing.

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10:20 – And now “Brokeback Mountain” is back. Ang Lee just grabbed Best Director, and the award is almost always coupled with Best Picture.

It is, however, worth noting that one of the few times the two kudos have split was in 1999 when Steven Spielberg won Best Director for “Saving Private Ryan” and then “Shakespeare in Love” took home Best Picture.

Mr. Spielberg is nominated again tonight, this time for Best Picture. And personally I'm rooting for the Academy to split again and give the award to him for “Munich.”

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10:25 – Whoa!!!

The Academy has split the top two honors once again, but “Munich” is not Best Picture - “Crash” is. (Okay, let's be honest, "Munich" was a longshot all along, but hey, I was holding out hope.)

This is a massive upset by almost all accounts. It was supposed to be “Brokeback Mountain” all the way.

The movie also won editing and writing honors this evening, but this is still completely unexpected. And what kind words about the other nominees from one of the accepting producers – a truly sweet comment about the year in cinema.

This will have people talking tomorrow. And now all of America is going to have to go out and see a movie that most hadn't even heard of until now. Stunning!

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10:33 – Alright, some concluding thoughts.

The 78th Academy Awards will be remembered for the Best Picture upset – the largest since “Saving Private Ryan” lost in 1999. “Crash” just went from bordering on the sort of flick Blockbuster won't be stocking in six years to part of an immortal role call of cinema's finest.

Jon Stewart did a good job hosting – decent improvised humor as the night went on, and a fabulous opening monologue and film short. Billy Crystal he is not, but the collegiate generation had a reason to tune in tonight and that cannot be overlooked. It will be interesting to see the ratings for the show.

Otherwise, my commentary will be in Tuesday's Badger Herald, and I'll put a link up to it when it hits the web.

For now, thank you for following on The Right Side of the Road.