Bravo's Top Chef

When not being a political junkie, the kitchen is one of my primary obsessions. I am so addicted to the Food Network that once, while on the road, I called a friend to see if she remembered a certain episode of one of the channel's travel shows, because I was having trouble recollecting the name of a restaurant and wanted to eat there while passing through town. I have a crush on Rachel Ray, aspire to one day be able to handle Bobby Flay's sauces on my own and consider Iron Chef America to be the finest program on television. I abuse my tiny apartment kitchen to the nth degree and, roughly once a week, you can read my recipes on the Digest page of The Badger Herald.

So naturally I tuned in to last night's premiere of “Top Chef” on Bravo. I am now completely hooked and, in the tradition of Ann Althouse's periodic pop culture tangents, will bring you my weekly commentary on the show.

First, if you didn't see the program, please do not pass go, do not collect $200, open up your iTunes and download it. As of the time of this posting, it is still free, though I suspect Apple will soon be asking the very reasonable price of $1.99 for each episode.

Okay, the cast of chefs is definitely eclectic. These people range from a Las Vegas sommelier to a caterer who seems to be badly in need of a good shrink. Some are lovable, a few are repugnant, most of them I need another week or two to pass any sort of judgment on.

The Quickfire competition is certainly a good opener. They have to survive 30 minutes on the line at Hubert Keller's Fleur de Lys, arguably the finest restaurant in San Francisco. Mr. Keller is a curt, demanding guy and with him calling the shots, only three of the 12 competitors even make it through. Cynthia Sestitot, a woman who swears like a sailor with a certain bizarre brand of utter kookiness, gets the boot before she can even start because Mr. Keller doesn't approve of her footwear. Ken Lee, the hostile Irish guy with some serious attitude, gets booted for sticking his finger in the sauce to taste it (memo to self: If he ever gets a restaurant, do not eat there).

Dave Martin, Tiffani Faison and Le Anne Wong are the three survivors. They all seem extremely impressive. Mr. Keller taps Ms. Wong the event's winner, though I was definitely pulling for Ms. Faison. She seems to have a very smooth character and complete competence in the kitchen. Oh well. As for Mr. Martin, no doubt he knows what he is doing, but not enough personality revealed in this week's show – we'll have to wait until next week.

The second competition, which is the elimination battle, requires each chef to cook their signature dish. Mr. Lee mocks, “I don't have a signature dish 'cause I don't have a restaurant.”

Ms. Faison is the only one to make it to the final three for both competitions; her pumpkin dish which, despite being vegetarian, looks amazing, is a huge hit. But Harold Dieterle is the winner. He's a lot like Mr. Martin – seems to be excellent in the kitchen, but there just isn't enough personality in the television hour to let him really enter our living rooms.

And Mr. Lee, who earned the collective wrath of the entire group when he talked back to Mr. Keller at the end of the Quickfire challenge, is going home. Sort of a pity – the show may have benefited from some hostile personality to keep people chatting. And his dish didn't look all that bad – it was a fish piece, and at least appeared to be better assembled than a health-conscious plate thrown together by one of the other contenders. Oh well.

So who am I rooting for? At the moment, definitely Ms. Faison. In commenting on one of her competitors' dishes, she remarks, “I want to sit and watch Monday Night Football with a beer and eat [Dave's] enchiladas. I thought they were great.” And it is a great line – I'm worried that these are all going to be snobs stuck in the ivory tower of culinary school; that we have a chef who can plate a classic restaurant dish but who also understands the idea of fun food is a very welcome relief.

However, some culinary snobbery also never hurts. Stephen Asprinio is winning me over in this category. The guy is the sommelier at one of the MGM Grand restaurants in Las Vegas and is the only chef to serve wine with his signature dish (there is a $30 marketing limit for each person, so this is no easy task). He understands that a meal is more than just food – he even dresses properly in a suit and tie. Very classy individual. Ms. Wong, who I was just beginning to like, comments, “Stephen is a sommelier, so he is a professional bullshiter.” And there goes my respect for her. (For the record, I am blogging with a Clos du Bois Cabernet Sauvignon from Sonoma County, vintage 2000 and it is excellent.)

Okay, next week I'm going to kill the synopsis and stick with analysis because I know you all will be watching with me. For now, if you haven't already, download the darn show! This is great stuff.