Top Chef: Week 2

SOMEWHERE OFF THE NEW JERSEY TURNPIKE – Apologies for being two days off on the second week of “Top Chef;” as the various datelines on this site show, I've been winding around North America for the better part of a week now, and not all hotel rooms come equipped with Bravo. But the second episode of “Top Chef” is now up on iTunes and, as did last week's premiere, it makes for a marvelous hour's worth of entertainment, especially for the kitchen enthusiast.

You have to feel bad for Cynthia Sestito. I ripped on her pretty badly last week, and still cannot vouch for her general sanity, but it turns out she is filming the show while her father is essentially dying. The program cuts away from competition and does a slightly more personal segment with her – it is quite touching and heart-wrenching.

As for the first competition, this week's Quickfire is a fruit platter. Basically, the eleven surviving chefs have to transform a fruit basket into an aesthetically-pleasing platter. Nothing too impressive, really – Tiffani Faison has a nice classic presentation and Harold Dieterle shows off some impressive knife work, but none of the presentations really moved too far beyond classic buffet spreads and that was disappointing. Stephen Asprinio wins the challenge with a tiny-cup platter assortment that looks like something out of the Queen's tea hour.

Interestingly, Ms. Faison, who seems to be one of the more competitive chefs, seems upset – but not because she didn't win the Quickfire. Oddly, she weighs in, “I think Harold should have won.”

When the elimination contest rolls around and Ms. Faison is not among the top three, Mr. Dieterle reciprocates in kind, telling the camera, “I though Tiffani should have been [in the top three].” And it is nice to see that two of the contestants (two of the finer ones at that, I might add) have some level of respect for each other, 'cause this is getting absurdly petty otherwise.

The elimination contest is plating and serving a desert course for a fetish store's party. It is absolutely hilarious to watch some of these chefs squeamishly try to add innuendo to otherwise prude dishes. But Ms. Faison goes the furthest, creating a bizarre cookie necklace of sorts – if eaten properly, one seems to end up with something approaching a hickey!

Miguel Morales seems to go way over the line with his desert. Nothing too strange about the food itself, but when the chefs all change into their outfits for the night (they, too, are asked to dress for the occasion), he comes out with no shirt. It is not a pretty sight – the guest judge even jokes, “...There is nothing sexy about Miguel...”

Apparently looks don't matter, though – outfit-wise at least. Ms. Faison is hands down the best dressed of the eleven contestants, with a sleek white top and black bottom, but her creative presentation is shot by some apparently less-than-tasty cookies and, alas, she misses the final three. Oh well – I am pulling for her more and more.

Bottom line: Mr. Morales is somehow the winner. He is so far over the top it is hard to believe, but I suppose he embraces the “When in Rome” motto the best.

And our loser? Andrea Beaman is headed home. Sort of a pity – she seemed very good at what it is she does (a health food-driven line of cooking), I am just not sure that her expertise and the competition were wholly compatible.

Okay, apologies again for being late on this week's “Top Chef” commentary and for the lack of recent posts to this site. Things should be back to normal by the end of Monday.